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Topic: Harassment, Parliament and the BBC

SG on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:06pm
Reply #30

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Some women apparently did go to the police, and were given the same brush-off. I'd be very surprised if this type of male behaviour wasn't also endemic in the Police until recently.
(George Gently's sidekick Bacchus ? )

Not in my experience of nearly 30 years.  Male and female officers got along just fine.  Plenty of laughter and joking with each other and the sense to tell someone there and then if they went too far, and then move on.  There were however plenty of occasions when one was glad of a comforting arm across the shoulders, or a warm hug from a colleague.

Wasn't that a tv programme and wasn't it set in the early 60s? :hmm:
« Last Edit: Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:23pm by SG »
Life is better if you cry a little, laugh a lot and are thankful for everything you've got
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Myra on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:11pm
Reply #31

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Some women apparently did go to the police, and were given the same brush-off. I'd be very surprised if this type of male behaviour wasn't also endemic in the Police until recently.
(George Gently's sidekick Bacchus ? )

Of course it will and has happened in the Police.  They are no different from any other profession.
Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence.   Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.
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SG on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:13pm
Reply #32

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Of course it will and has happened in the Police.  They are no different from any other profession.
 

I don't think anyone said they were 'different'.  However Life on Mars was set a long, long time ago . . .

Not in my experience of nearly 30 years.  Male and female officers got along just fine.  Plenty of laughter and joking with each other and the sense to tell someone there and then if they went too far, and then move on.  There were however plenty of occasions when one was glad of a comforting arm across the shoulders, or a warm hug from a colleague.
« Last Edit: Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:24pm by SG »
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Beppy on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:13pm
Reply #33

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Not in my experience of nearly 30 years.  Male and female officers got along just fine.  Plenty of laughter and joking with each other and the sense to tell someone there and then if they went too far, and then move on.

That's the key isn't it, tell someone firmly and let them know you mean it. I have worked with a lot of men and worked away from home when I was only 18 for two years, sea, sun,sand and a fun atmosphere so plenty of flirting going on but you set your own bar immediately as to what was acceptable and what wasn't and never did I find myself in an unpleasant situation.
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.   Mark Twain.
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SG on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:16pm
Reply #34

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That's the key isn't it, tell someone firmly and let them know you mean it. I have worked with a lot of men and worked away from home when I was only 18 for two years, sea, sun,sand and a fun atmosphere so plenty of flirting going on but you set your own bar immediately as to what was acceptable and what wasn't and never did I find myself in an unpleasant situation.

Exactly.

Life is better if you cry a little, laugh a lot and are thankful for everything you've got
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hotel du lac on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 12:59pm
Reply #35

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The experience and perspective of a strong confident person is not the only experience and perspective to be had. Society is there for everyone, including the weak and less confident, in fact one might expect it to be there particularly for the weak and less confident.

I am saddened by the dismissal, even derision and distrust of the weak and less confident when they eventually find the courage to say something.
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SG on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:17pm
Reply #36

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How do you know they are 'weak and less confident'?  Surely that's just an assumption?  AL doesn't strike me as being either.  Nor do the actresses in the Weinstein scenario
« Last Edit: Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:19pm by SG »
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Beppy on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:24pm
Reply #37

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The experience and perspective of a strong confident person is not the only experience and perspective to be had. Society is there for everyone, including the weak and less confident, in fact one might expect it to be there particularly for the weak and less confident.

I am saddened by the dismissal, even derision and distrust of the weak and less confident when they eventually find the courage to say something.

No-one is saying they were strong and confident, I certainly wasn't at 18 and away from home, friends and family but I knew myself what my standards were and what self respect was so I deflected any unwanted advances with as firm no. Men do take notice when they know you mean it.
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.   Mark Twain.
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Robyn on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:35pm
Reply #38

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No-one is saying they were strong and confident, I certainly wasn't at 18 and away from home, friends and family but I knew myself what my standards were and what self respect was so I deflected any unwanted advances with as firm no. Men do take notice when they know you mean it.

It sounds to me as if you're talking about dogs.  Yes, a firm no does work, I've found.


Look thy last on all things lovely every hour
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hotel du lac on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:37pm
Reply #39

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How do you know they are 'weak and less confident'?  Surely that's just an assumption?  AL doesn't strike me as being either.  Nor do the actresses in the Weinstein scenario

I didn't mention AL

My comments were about people in general who are making complaints.

You put forward your view on which my comment was based as I see it as just the view of a strong and confident person and that is not the only view there is.

People who are neither strong nor confident have experiences and perspectives too which are just as valid.
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hotel du lac on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:41pm
Reply #40

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No-one is saying they were strong and confident, I certainly wasn't at 18 and away from home, friends and family but I knew myself what my standards were and what self respect was so I deflected any unwanted advances with as firm no. Men do take notice when they know you mean it.

Well then, you were clearly strong and confident enough to make a stand. There are some who are perfectly aware of what is right and what is wrong but do not have the strength and confidence to handle a difficult situation.

They are not to be dismissed and derided. They need support and good for them if they now are finding the strength to stand up and complain at last.

Is it not possible for those lucky enough to be strong and confident to have a little compassion for those who are not and who often suffer indignities and difficulties because of it?
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SG on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:41pm
Reply #41

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No, you didn't mention AL, I did as an example.

You have no idea whether I am a strong and confident person though, any more than I know you are - which illustrates my point that we don't know if all complainants are weak and less confident (and they can't all be surely?) and that's the reason they haven't come forward before, but are now doing so en masse.

Having encountered and helped many victims of real - and often horrific - sexual abuse, I am fairly sure that  I've got plenty of compassion for those who deserve it
« Last Edit: Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:49pm by SG »
Life is better if you cry a little, laugh a lot and are thankful for everything you've got
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AliceB on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:42pm
Reply #42

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It sounds to me as if you're talking about dogs. Yes, a firm no does work, I've found.

 :)

Perhaps all women should carry a rolled up newspaper just in case.
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hotel du lac on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:45pm
Reply #43

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No, you didn't mention AL, I did as an example.

You have no idea whether I am a strong and confident person though, any more than I know you are - which illustrates my point that we don't know if all complainants are weak and less confident (and they can't all be surely?) and that's the reason they haven't come forward before, but are now doing so en masse.

I didn't say they all are. But clearly they are not all strong and confident people either, or they would have dealt with it at the time and, if knocked back by those saying not to make a fuss, or that they were being silly, or threatening them with losing their careers, would  have made an even bigger fuss, not put their heads down and kept quiet.

Why do you think these people didn't speak publicly at the time?
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SG on Sun 05-Nov-2017 | 13:49pm
Reply #44

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So if they are not all weak and less confident, then presumably some of them are strong and confident - so why didn't the ones who are come forward before now?

I don't know why they didn't speak publicly at the time - that's exactly the question I've been asking for a while now
Life is better if you cry a little, laugh a lot and are thankful for everything you've got
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