Topic: Harassment, Parliament and the BBC

[Beppy]

I think that's different from a sleazy comment alone in a lift at work by the boss, or whoever he was.

I've been chatted up on buses and it made me laugh.  A young man asked me if I was 'single' and I asked him how old he was - 38 he said.  I said I'm old enough to be your mother, I don't mind he said.  It cheered me up actually.

So really, very similar to being chatted up in Westminster or any other working environment so I'm pleased you took it as it was meant to be taken as in today's climate many might have been affronted.

[Astoria]

However I still find it difficult to understand how someone who reviles a man for making a clumsy but inoffensive remark to a woman who is know to him, enjoys advances from a completely unknown male on public transport.

I'm finding quoting complicated so Robyn, you are saying that it was acceptable and flattering for a complete stranger on public transport to pay a compliment with no encouragement. He could have been part of a team, one to distract and the other to steal your wallet.

Yet, the women who are ruining male reputations, careers, lives, with their allegations were in safe environments, places of work, social gatherings, meetings, with other people around who they knew. They were not at risk.

[guest1764]

So really, very similar to being chatted up in Westminster or any other working environment so I'm pleased you took it as it was meant to be taken as in today's climate many might have been affronted.

No, not at all similar. I wasn't in the workplace and didn't feel threatened, humiliated or embarrassed.  The young man wasn't my boss so there was no imbalance of power in the encounter. 

[guest1764]

I'm finding quoting complicated so Robyn, you are saying that it was acceptable and flattering for a complete stranger on public transport to pay a compliment with no encouragement. He could have been part of a team, one to distract and the other to steal your wallet.

Yet, the women who are ruining male reputations, careers, lives, with their allegations were in safe environments, places of work, social gatherings, meetings, with other people around who they knew. They were not at risk.

Women are not ruining men's reputations, ill-mannered men are doing that themselves.

[Beppy]

I wonder where all of these ill mannered men are? I don't know any so are they only men in positions of power?

[SG]

No, not at all similar. I wasn't in the workplace and didn't feel threatened, humiliated or embarrassed.  The young man wasn't my boss so there was no imbalance of power in the encounter.

No you weren't in the workplace, you encouraged a complete stranger who could have taken your friendliness as a 'come-on' and followed you off the bus with goodness knows what consequences, or as Astoria has pointed out could have been distracting you whilst his mate stole your bag or purse

Someone you don't know, and whose intentions you don't know creates a huge imbalance

[guest534]

You have more stamina than I, Robyn.

[guest1764]

No you weren't in the workplace, you encouraged a complete stranger who could have taken your friendliness as a 'come-on' and followed you off the bus with goodness knows what consequences, or as Astoria has pointed out could have been distracting you whilst his mate stole your bag or purse

Someone you don't know, and whose intentions you don't know creates a huge imbalance

I encouraged a complete stranger with my friendliness?  Where you there?  Good grief.

Where is this analysis of my story going?

[SG]

I'm not going to argue the toss with you Robyn.

I think we should return to the topic don't you?

[guest1764]

Why this constant questioning of my story and me?  Is there a point to it?

I see you deleted your post and replaced it.  OK.  Enough.

[NZ]

 This is getting silly.  In the UK  in the part of the country where my family live,when riding public transport I talk to strangers,  I very much doubt that the strangers to whom I talk to take it as a 'come on' and neither do I expect one of them to be distracting me so as to steal my wallet or follow me when I get off of the bus.   But thirty years ago if I had been a young woman of 20years old  and my boss made a crass comment when I was alone in a lift with him, I may have been worried/upset or even frightened. Two very different stories.

Sorry. OK enough.

[guest1764]

Indeed, NZ.  I am a frequent user of public transport and talk to a lot of people, more so nowadays because I have a fluffy little dog who goes with me everywhere and people come up to us to chat to her.

[ellieni]

I encouraged a complete stranger with my friendliness?  Where you there?  Good grief.

Where is this analysis of my story going?

Going nowhere as I see it .
 You took it as a bit of banter, as I would have done , in the incident that you talked about . I love banter ,and  it often cheers me up too.

The world would be a much, duller place with it .  I have often indulged in it with strangers in Asdas    

[Astoria]

So what do we have here? A stranger on a bus asks if you are single <chat up alert> You asked how old he was <responsive chat up alert> He tells you and you respond as you feel flattered that you're old enough to be his Mum. He says he doesn't mind <serious chat up alert> Frivolous flirting with a stranger on a bus. Perhaps you should have reported this incident to the bus company. He could have been a stalker on a bus.

If this same complimentary frivolous chat up happened to you in the workplace by a man with 'power' who you knew then you'd feel threatened, humiliated or embarrassed. Then perhaps make a complaint?

I don't get it.

[guest1764]

Did I say I was flirting with him?  I wasn't.  Anything else you want to know?