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Topic: Harassment, Parliament and the BBC

NZ on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 11:59AM
Reply #105

Offline NZ

  • Posts: 3,842
  • Gender: Female
Alone in a lift and a sleazy comment made I would imagine would frighten some young women.
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Myra on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 12:11PM
Reply #106

Offline Myra

  • Posts: 22,597
  • 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
I don't think that  when I was 20 years old that I would have regarded being told by a man when alone in a lift with him that I filled out my jeans well,  as rather flattering.

I can't  imagine any decent man saying that to a woman in a lift.  That would have scared me.
Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence.   Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.
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SG on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 12:12PM
Reply #107

SG

  • Guest
50 years ago perhaps although even then I think most women were more than capable or dealing with such a low-key situation.

I doubt many modern 20 year old women would turn a hair and in fact, would probably respond with the sort of put-down that would make the man wish he'd kept quiet!
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SG on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 12:27PM
Reply #108

SG

  • Guest
A few weeks ago a female member posted that whilst on a bus, a man, a complete stranger to her, had told her she was a very attractive woman.  Some posters, including at least one who has posted here reviling the man in the life and his ilk, seemed to think that was great . . .
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Beppy on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:22PM
Reply #109

Offline Beppy

  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 45,065
  • Gender: Female
    • YES
A few weeks ago a female member posted that whilst on a bus, a man, a complete stranger to her, had told her she was a very attractive woman.  Some posters, including at least one who has posted here reviling the man in the life and his ilk, seemed to think that was great . . .

Exactly!
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.   Mark Twain.
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guest1764 on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:33PM
Reply #110

guest1764

  • Guest
A few weeks ago a female member posted that whilst on a bus, a man, a complete stranger to her, had told her she was a very attractive woman.  Some posters, including at least one who has posted here reviling the man in the life and his ilk, seemed to think that was great . . .

I think that's different from a sleazy comment alone in a lift at work by the boss, or whoever he was.

I've been chatted up on buses and it made me laugh.  A young man asked me if I was 'single' and I asked him how old he was - 38 he said.  I said I'm old enough to be your mother, I don't mind he said.  It cheered me up actually. 
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SG on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:34PM
Reply #111

SG

  • Guest
Double standards?

Isn't it a far more risky situation?  How do you know a complete stranger is safe?  You don't,  and if he sees your friendliness as a come-on it's too late when he's followed you off the bus . . .
« Last Edit: Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:36PM by SG »
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guest1764 on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:36PM
Reply #112

guest1764

  • Guest
I was in a public place, I felt safe, his manner was very nice.  I didn't feel threatened.

If he'd followed me off the bus that would have changed everything.

I have been followed off a tube train late at night (when I was in my teens) and that was terrifying.
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SG on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:37PM
Reply #113

SG

  • Guest
I understand the Yorkshire Ripper's manner was very nice in public, as was Fred West's . . .
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guest1764 on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:38PM
Reply #114

guest1764

  • Guest
Why even talk like that SG?  I am recounting my own experiences, why try to mock them?
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SG on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:42PM
Reply #115

SG

  • Guest
Er -  I'm not mocking them.  I'm simply pointing out that just because a complete stranger's manner is 'nice' it doesn't follow that he is - as plenty of women have found to their cost.

In addition, you had not added your edit -


If he'd followed me off the bus that would have changed everything.

I have been followed off a tube train late at night (when I was in my teens) and that was terrifying.

when I posted.
« Last Edit: Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:44PM by SG »
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guest1764 on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:44PM
Reply #116

guest1764

  • Guest
Yes but we have to use our own judgement and I judged him to be pleasant and it cheered me up.  That's my experience and I was recounting it.  Why pick at it?

Edits are to be expected.
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SG on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:46PM
Reply #117

SG

  • Guest
I didn't pick at it, I didn't mention it at all in fact.  What I said was -

I understand the Yorkshire Ripper's manner was very nice in public, as was Fred West's . . .

However I still find it difficult to understand how someone who reviles a man for making a clumsy but inoffensive remark to a woman who is know to him, enjoys advances from a completely unknown male on public transport.
« Last Edit: Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:50PM by SG »
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ellieni on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:53PM
Reply #118

Offline ellieni

  • Posts: 17,531
  • Gender: Female
    • yes
I was in a public place, I felt safe, his manner was very nice.  I didn't feel threatened.

If he'd followed me off the bus that would have changed everything.

I have been followed off a tube train late at night (when I was in my teens) and that was terrifying.

I wouldn't have felt threatened by that either.  And just looked on it as a bit of Banter.
As, I think most of us are old enough to know the difference between, what is said as a joke. Or that said with an undercurrent of sleeze.
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guest1764 on Mon 06-Nov-2017 | 13:56PM
Reply #119

guest1764

  • Guest
I wouldn't have felt threatened by that either.  And just looked on it as a bit of Banter.
As, I think most of us are old enough to know the difference between, what is said as a joke. Or that said with an undercurrent of sleeze.

That's right Ellieni.  As I said, it cheered me up and gave me a laugh.
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